Sound Waves and Painting the Sky

Mama asked: Please describe large print audio books. These are books for folks whose eyesight has diminished to the point that they can no longer read large print books. I have had a request from a patron at the public library for large print audio books.

…and then Rachel asked: Why is the sky blue?

Seeing as no answers were issued over the weekend, I figured I’d throw two questions into today’s post. I’ll start with the first question. Large print audio books. I’m not really sure why you’d need an explanation on this. It seems pretty obvious to me. I’ll go through the process for those of you who aren’t familiar with audio books. Audio books are made just like any other book. Somebody somewhere sits down and types the words into a computer. The computer then outputs an audio book.

As everyone knows, audio is made up of sound waves. Think of sound waves like invisible ocean waves that are rolling through the air. When large print audio books play their content, the waves are much larger than regular sound waves. That is how large print audio books are produced.

If I recall correctly, Rachel, the sky is blue because of an ancient Italian treaty in which the sky was decided to be painted blue. A special type of self-spreading paint was commissioned to be made by Da Vinci, and the Chinese were hired to make a special rocketry setup. The paint was loaded into the rocket and fired at the sky. Unfortunately, the Italians did not foresee the potential side-effects. It turns out that the paint they used reacted with the atmosphere and created larges masses of gaseous bodies (which we now call clouds). So yes, you can blame the Italians for both the blue skies and the cloudy days.

Ciao!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page! 

Brushing Your Teeth – In 4D

Jordan asked:
Why do people leave the water running when they brush their teeth, and what’s the point of the 4th dimension?

Hi Jordan! Although you asked these questions separately, I combined them in an effort to be environmentally friendly. The first part of the question, I believe, can be traced back to ancient Native American mythology, which has strongly influenced the field of dental hygiene practices. The original toothbrushes were formed from the hair found on the backs of the North American Walking Stick. In fact, walking stick insects were sometimes used as toothbrushes, until it was found that actual sticks work much better. The belief was held that a strong connection existed between the tooth-brusher and the source of water, so the brushing of teeth was a ritual always performed by a live body of water, such as a stream or river. This practice has held strong throughout the ages, as people still today leave the tap running when brushing their teeth.

 The fourth dimension is very much an unexplored one, yet people make use of its properties almost daily. August Möbius, Ludwig Schläfli, and Bernhard Riemann studied the fourth dimension quite extensively. I believe that they concluded that this dimension is integral to the strong connections one forms with everyday objects, such as toothbrushes and tap-water. The fourth dimension is widely used by those in the film industry to explain the popularity of Michael Bay films. The following equation was used to draw the 4D link between walking sticks and toothbrushes. I hope that answers your questions!

Have a marvelous Thursday!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page! 

Non-Kosher Circuitry

Mama asked: Which name is correct for the brown furry animal, often seen sitting upright beside the road…groundhog, woodchuck or whistle pig? Who ever thought up these names, anyway? I WON’T ask about said animal’s chucking ability.

Alright people, this question came from my mom, the most awesome, loving, and talkative short person I know. Anyway, let’s see here.

First of all, I usually prefer the Latin terminology when referring to wildlife. In this case, Marmota monax. The colloquial names all have interesting stories behind them. Pulling out once more our vast etymological skills, let’s examine the term “groundhog.” Obviously comprised of a combination of the roots “ground” and “hog,” this word has an interesting background. Using the third variation of the tenth definition of ground as laid out in the Oxford English Dictionary, we see that the word refers to the act of connecting to the earth as an electrical conductor. As the story goes, a farmer once saw Mamota monax attempting to cross some telephone wires. Unfortunately, the poor rodent formed a complete circuit and was fried. The farmer, for some reason, decided that the animal was a pig and shouted out, “Look at that grounded hog!” The passersby thought he said groundhog, hence the propagation of the current term (no pun intended).

Woodchuck has a much simpler source of nomenclature. The father of all American woodchucks, Sir Charles Woodsby III, immigrated from England in the mid-1800s. The somewhat redneck customs official did not like the haughty English rodent, so he gave him the name of Woodchuck.

The term whistle pig came from the rodents’ propensity for using wild bird calls to organize attacks on passing wagon supply trains. The rodents were quite brutal and left no survivors. Due to the animal’s piggish behavior and interesting vocal abilities, the pioneers started calling them whistle pigs .

As to the animals’ abilities to chuck wood, that is merely an old wives’ tale propagated by Paula Deen. You shouldn’t believe everything you read.

Have a nice Tuesday!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page! 

Time Traveling

Matthew asked:
Is time travel possible? And if so, how?

Well, Matthew, many things in this world are possible. Time travel is one of those topics that many have pondered: HG Wells, Charles Dickens, whoever came in second on American Idol last season… In fact, even I have pondered the capabilities my own self to travel through time. In my ramblings of thought, something rather intriguing occurred to me. What if I was to travel into the future and meet myself. Would I know if I was coming? Just a thought.

Really, though, I don’t think that time travel exists. If it does, then it doesn’t function in the manner that we think it might. Let me give you three reasons why time travel cannot exist.

1. The lack of pet dinosaurs. If time travel was possible, then we would have pet dinosaurs. Even if scientists wanted to keep the time traveling technology hidden, I’m sure they would come up with an excuse for the existence of dinosaur pets: Lost World, Jurassic Park, aliens…
2. The existence of arguments on the origins of the earth and natural history. If time travel exists, then surely somebody would have used it by now to settle the arguments on the source of life, the reason there’s a rock with viking inscriptions on it in Minnesota, and how Stonehenge was built.
3. The popularity of the Twilight series. I don’t know how many of my readers are Twilight fans, but if you’re reading this and you are, then I’m sorry (not really). If time travel existed, then I think that towards the top of my list would be the action of removing the intellect-killing,emotion-filled, faux literature known as the Twilight series.

I think that pretty much sums it up. Is time travel possible? Possibly. Maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe that’s why Twilight, Snuggies, and Justin Beiber are popular. If so, then let’s hope that the powers-at-be don’t get anymore bright ideas.

Oh, you asked how. I’m not sure you can beat Doctor Who’s take on the situation: “People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint – it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… stuff.”

Happy Monday!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page! 

Describing the Indescribable

Before you begin reading, I must warn you. This post is quite a bit longer than a normal AP answer, and it is also a bit more complex and serious. With that aside, please, be my guest. 

IYAAYAS Moderator asks:
Do you think that God has a soul? If so or if not, define one’s soul in a non-christian manner. Thanks.

Oh goodness. Today’s post is going to be a bit heavier than usual. Where do I even start? First of all, I suppose that I should make an attempt to define what or whom is meant by the term God. The idea of God is one that is held by many different belief systems. God could be a deity, personal in form and mind. He could be an impersonal entity that exists only as a power or abstract idea. Many gods could exist; maybe the Greeks’ or Hindus’ belief system is the one we should choose. Perhaps God exists as a bond that holds all of the metaphysical universe together. Maybe we are our own gods, and none can tell us what to do. Besides all of those options, we have those who do not believe in a god (atheists), and we have also those who believe that we can’t know (agnostics). Now we’re back to the original question. Where in the world do I start?

Since you asked if I think that God has a soul, you are assuming (at least for the purposes of this question) that I believe in God. I do, in fact, believe in a God. I believe in the God of the Bible. I believe that there is only one God, who is comprised of three distinct persons–The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit–yet He is still one god. He is an all-powerful entity who cannot be fully understood by us. You will recognize the Father as the God of the Bible. The traditional Lord of Judaism and Christianity, if you will. Jesus is His only-begotten, not created, son. The Holy Spirit, also referred to as the Holy Ghost, is the third person and acts as a guide to Christians. The idea of the trinity is a hard concept to wrap your mind around, but it is somewhat easier to grasp when one realizes that God is God. He is not necessarily bound by the same natural laws of physics, math, or even existence that we are (Psalm 90:4, 2 Peter 3:8). That, on the very surface, and in a very simple form, is what I believe. So, let’s go with that definition of God for the purposes of this post.

Now, you have asked whether or not I think that God has a soul. Let’s first look at what a soul is. Then we can decide whether or not God has one. The Oxford English Dictionary defines soul chiefly as “The principle of life in man or animals; animate existence.” That is the non-Christian, mainstream, definition of the word “soul.” The principle of life. I think you’ll agree with me that there is something in men that is beyond the current secular ability to understand. What makes a person alive? Why can we not sew together body parts, insert working organs, and bring a hideous personal minion to life, like Dr. Frankenstein did? You ask me to define soul in a non-Christian manner, and that is about the best that I can give you. So, in secular terms, the soul is that hard-to-define idea that gives life to men and animals and makes up their conscious existence. Your soul is whatever makes up life at the deepest level. I cannot continue further without bringing in Christian views, as they are inherently necessary when defining terms pertaining to Christianity.

Let’s look at Oxford’s second definition. “The principle of thought and action in man, commonly regarded as an entity distinct from the body; the spiritual part of man in contrast to the purely physical. Also occas., the corresponding or analogous principle in animals. Freq. in connection with, or in contrast to, body.” The spiritual part of man. The soul is that which encompasses life and the spiritual, non-physical side of man. The Greek word used for soul in the Christian New testament is ψυχὴ (pronounced sue-kay). It encompasses the idea of life-breath. I believe that there are three parts to man: the body, the soul, and the spirit (1 Thess. 5:23, Heb. 4:12). The body is the physical part, that which contains the soul and spirit. The spirit is that in which God works; the soul is that which makes up life and also contains pieces of the spiritual, and the body is that which contains and encompasses both the soul and the spirit. Everything is quite strongly interwoven.

To answer your question. Does God have a soul? Let’s look at what/whom we’ve decided God is. God is an all-powerful entity who is made up of three persons and who created the world. As to the idea of a soul, we’ve defined the idea of soul as it applies to man, and in the case of the non-spiritual elements, animals. I don’t think that we can apply the same concept of possession of a soul to God. We can’t say that God has no soul, for that would be to say He has no life. Rather, God is the one who bestowed life to others. God has a soul in some sense of the word. Perhaps God’s soul is the ultimate idea of soul. I’m really not qualified to answer that question, as I am not God. Obviously, however, we cannot apply the human definition of soul to God, as the make-up of God and man are different. Humans have souls; animals have life and some form of soul, probably excluding the deeply spiritual aspects of humans’ souls, and God gives and creates souls. If God gives souls, then He has souls, or soul, to give. Therefore, we can say that God has, in some form, soul.

So, in summary, I believe that God has soul, in some sense of the word, but we can’t limit Him to human terms. I hope that, to some degree, answers your question.

Have a Great Day!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page! 

Jelly Beans, Zombies, and Pretty Cars

Zelda Sheik asked:
What is your opinion of buttered popcorn jelly beans vs. jalapeno jelly beans? 😀

It is a well-established fact that Jelly Belly’s  buttered popcorn jelly bean is the worst food item in creation. I’m not really sure how the jalapeño bean could be any worse–unless it is somehow a derivative of the buttered popcorn flavor. If you’re not completely convinced on my stand on this issue, let me create a little example. Imagine that you’re a person who found the cure to cancer, won gold in the Olympics 17 times, and became the Forbes richest person of all time. On top of that, you own a unicorn, have genetically modified house pets that can talk, and you drive a car that looks something like the pretty red one above.

One day, you wake up and discover that you were delusional, and all of your wonderful accomplishments and possessions are fake. That is what it’s like to eat a buttered popcorn jelly bean. Now, as to your question on the comparison of  buttered popcorn vs  jalapeño, I really don’t think the  jalapeño could even come close in terms of atrociousness. To be honest here, I actually have never had a  jalapeño Jelly Belly. You have inspired me, however, to try one.

Note to any freshmen that may be reading this: the buttered popcorn jelly bean is not to be microwaved. Only real popcorn. The little flame guys hate the jelly beans almost as much as I do. There’s no telling what would happen, but I have a feeling zombies and major apocalyptic wars would be involved.

Cheers!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page!   

Roasted Corn

A lost freshman from 41 asked:
Why does T3 hate it when I burn my popcorn and cause the fire alarm to go off? I don’t have my mom around to cook my food and I just dont get how to use a simple microwave. Please explain why people get mad at me, I’m just a lost freshman from 41.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the terms 41 and T3, they refer to the floors of a certain dormitory at LeTourneau University. To answer this poor freshman’s question, we shall have to look at the physical and sociological effects of cooking popcorn. You see, my dear sir, when one places popcorn in a microwave oven, the bag is bombarded with those tiny little fireball guys from Mario. Fortunately, popcorn reacts in a very positive way. It explodes. Now, if you were to leave the popcorn in the oven for an extended period of time–longer than what’s required for the popcorn to explode–the little flame guys get angry. When they get angry, they try to turn the entire bag of popcorn into a bonfire.

Now to the sociological side. For some inexplicable reason, the authorities do not like fires in dormitories. Resulting from this dislike of flaming college students, fire alarms were installed. In the fire alarms live minuscule self-sustaining nuclear reactors. As is common knowledge, nuclear reactors are highly sensitive to smoke, which is the by-product of fire. When the nuclear reactors sense smoke, they explode. When the reactor explodes, a bunch of genetically modified crickets are notified. The crickets emit a very loud and high-pitched chirping noise. This sound is heard by the fire department, which dispatches a truck. Everyone is forced out of the building and nobody is very happy. Standing in the glacial cold of Eastern Texas in various states of undress, getting woken up from bed, or being forced to flee for your life with the knowledge that the building could be crumbling in a fiery maelstrom below your feet are some reasons that have been cited. Really, I don’t see why it’s a problem. It couldn’t be the fact that blaring genetically modified crickets are screaming over our heads or that lights are flashing in the hallways. Nope, no ideas there. I’ll have to think about that one.

I suggest you mail your popcorn to your mom, have her pop it, and then have her send it back. That seems like the best option for everyone involved. (Or you can try using cell phones. That seems legit.)

Happy Cooking!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page!   

On the Origin of Zebraphants

Rachel Allison asked:
Just how big is Zebraphant’s nose? This question has haunted me entirely too long… the space of about three minutes to be exact. Ever since I read your latest post over on A Recreational Read. 😀

Rachel, zebraphants are very strange creatures. It’s a little-known fact that zebraphants actually have varying-sized noses! (They can change the size of their noses at will.) Unfortunately, zebraphants are not naturally-occurring animals. They were created by a Dutch scientist (whose name I will here exclude) in the late 1800s. One of the big topics in the 1800s in Denmark, as everyone knows, was the size of one’s nose.

Now, this scientist did not want to begin his experiments with humans, so he started with elephants (on the thought that elephants had a lot of nose to work with). His genetic experiments brought us the zebraphant. (The zebra was mixed in to add stripes, which were also very popular in 19th century Denmark.) He released his creatures into the wilds of Gabon. You can still see them, if you’re lucky. (Click here to see a captive specimen.)

Thanks Rachel!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page!   

On Pastries, Vegetables, and Centipedes

inmyredhead asked:
What do vegetables and pastries have to do with this? ;-p

AAAND… Why did they make a sequel to that disgusting Centipede movie!?!?

Well, Red, I’m glad you asked.  I have a very serious love for Pop Tarts. In fact, I have been accused of loving Pop Tarts too much! Of course, I don’t think that’s even possible. So, what do vegetables and pastries have to do with this? Everything! Let’s employ a simple use of logic. Everyone who is alive stays so by eating, correct? Therefore, sustenance is needed in order to live! Both pastries and vegetables are forms of food. This blog answers potentially life-threatening questions. Therefore, this blog is like food! Thank you, you need not compliment me on my superb use of logic.

As to your question about the Centipede movie… I would assume that the producers made a sequel for one of three reasons.
a) They didn’t make enough money from the first movie to pay recompense for the IQs that the first movie lowered.
b) They were actually forced by a mad scientist to make a terrible movie about his accomplishments.
c) They got drunk one night and decided it would be a good idea to make a sequel.
Personally, I subscribe to option c.

Have a nice, centipede-free life!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page!   

Freewill

Does freewill really exist?

This is a question that has haunted philosophers for centuries. To figure out an answer, let’s break the word into pieces. Free and Will. Obviously, the first part of the word can be used multiple ways. Something can be free in that it costs nothing, or that same thing can be free in that no restrictions are placed upon it. The second part of the word, Will, is a bit trickier. I don’t personally know Will, but this question is pretty old;  it probably originated in the time of the dinosaurs, when humans were heavily involved in the slave trade. Will was a common name in ancient Mesopotamia and the surrounding isles, so people probably heard rumors of a man named Will who was free, and they often pondered the truth of such tales.

So does Free Will exist? Well, if he ever did, he’s probably dead now, wiped out by dinosaurs, old age, food poisoning, or all three. So really, I don’t think this is a pertinent question anymore.

Have a great day!
~XK

Have a question of your own? Visit the Ask page and try and, well, ask away! Want to be notified whenever an answer is posted? Click the Follow button at the bottom of the page!